More Librarians vs. Vendors : Coming down from ALA10

1 Jul

ALA is over, I need to get started reading ARCs to review in between being disgustingly happy with Mr. Math Professor and catching up on summer cocktails. Plus, I *NEED* to find a pair of four-inch heels that don’t scream Kardashian Famewhore all while training to hike the Grand Canyon in late July and finishing a baby blanket. Because that’s how I roll, Darling Readers.

So apparently you people really liked my last post, hence here’s another post to help you with the Post-ALA Blues. You know, when you have to come down from the Jerry Pinkney High, figure out what life’s like without getting handed swag every five minutes and how to get around without a free shuttle bus. So, after you go through those five boxes you FedExed to yourself only to find out you spent $200 shipping crappy pens, CDs of obscure journals and handouts about new study Bibles to yourself, remind yourself how worth ALA is for spending your professional development money (or your own nowadays).

Hair:

Vendors: for the ladies- carefully highlighted, blow-out, shoulder-length (feminine w/out being too sexy)
for the gentlemen- channelling JFK whether in reality or their minds

Librarians: sensible short haircut a la  OR long ‘n’ frizzy of no discernable color. Applies to any gender. (Thanks, Jamie!)

Lunch:

Vendor: Knows a great little Thai/New Orleans BBQ/California fusion noodle joint in recently gentrified area. But really, just getting a chopped salad (low-fat dressing on the side, please) like the rest of us and eating it on the convention center stairs.

Librarian: food gleaned from crashed events and tables outside of sessions, crumbling granola bar in bottom of purse.

Shoes:

Vendor: won’t admit how badly their feet hurt from pointy Italian shoes. Both genders.
Vendors under age 30: won’t admit how badly their feet hurt from pointy, cheap, knock-off shoes.

Librarians: feet feeling good after standing in lines all day for author autographs because they are craddled in the comfort of Birkenstocks or Danskos.

Librarian exception: me in gold heels refusing to admit how badly my feet hurt. Just throw another sloe gin fizz on the problem.

Adult beverage of choice:

Vendor: Top-shelf liquor and Diet Coke.

Librarian: Yellow Tail Syrrah from open bar event.

Representative quality:

Vendor: ability to gather large crowds to listen to sales pitch with promise of Costco cupcakes and Charles Shaw merlot.

Librarian: ability to excitedly recognize authors most people would pass by on street.

Needs to work on…

Vendor: waiting until AFTER ALA to make fun of librarians

Librarian: Wipe the drool off of your chin before telling Kadir Nelson how much you love his work. (Mostly because the water stain devalues your signed copy.) Also, try bringing your dress-up Birks instead of your everyday ones next time.

Love, kisses, and swag!

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One Response to “More Librarians vs. Vendors : Coming down from ALA10”

  1. MJH July 3, 2010 at 1:39 am #

    I DO have a crumbling granola bar in the bottom of my purse!
    I do, I do, I do!

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